Thursday, January 26, 2006

HARPO Get's The Call

How happy the patrons of Harpoville were to hear that shortly after our beloved Harpo became Prime Minister he received a personal phone call from the King of America; G.W. Bush himself. The Harpoville Post received a transcript of that sixteen minute phone call, though a sight error in judgement befell Harpo when he mistakenly picked up the receive of his daughters toy phone and spoke into it for eight minutes. So, the first eight minutes of the call is pretty much G.W. saying "Hello, is there someone there? Pickup, pickup. .... What the fuck? Hello, OK, two can play that game." etc, etc. But once that small mistake was corrected it was smooth sailing and congratulations from the King of America.

GW: Hello.... hello, where the fuck is he?
Harpo: Hello, hello, I'm here, sir.
GW: There you are Harpo, what the fuck happened?
Harpo: Just a small mix up your highness.
G.W:You can drop the your highness shit, I'm switching back to Dictator. Dickey to my friends.
Harpo: Well, thank you, Dickey.
GW: Hold on Harpo, you got to give me something to be my friend.
Harpo: OK, how a'boot Ontario. We didn't do so well there.
GW: Ontario? Is that the one that's attached to New York?
Harpo: I'm not in front of a map right now but, I believe so.
GW: Fuck that. That's Hillary country, that bitch is mean. She's probably pissed all over it already. Do you have something like Florida, warm with orange trees. I like oranges, and Florida's been real good to me, real good. You going to be good to me, Harpo?
Harpo: Yes sir Mr. Dictator.
GW: You better be or I'll bitch slap you like I did Sadam. You should have been there for that one boy, now that was a party. Hey, I hear people say you're a lot like Al Gore.
Harpo: O' no sir, Mr. Gore is quite a smart and successful man. I understand he's written a few books, I tried to read one once, but too many big words.
GW: But, somebody told me you wrote a book, is that right?
Harpo: Well, I never finished it.
GW: What's it about?
Harpo: Hockey.
GW: Hockey? Is it a picture book? I like picture books. You play hockey, Harpo?
Harpo: No sir, I have asthma.
GW: I guess you like to watch hockey then?
Harpo: No sir, asthma again. It's held in cold areans, and I catch a chill easily.
GW: O'well, good work at taking care of those liberials.
Harpo: Thank you sir, I just followed your friends advice.
GW: Nonsense, you whooped them and you whooped them good. I understand they left behind a good size bankroll. That right?
Harpo: Yes sir, I haven't seen the numbers yet, but, Paul Martin was quite a good finance minister.
GW: Great, let my people know the amount and how quickly you can get it on down to us. This fucking war is cleaning me out. I still haven't got the numbers on Iran and the Chinese aren't returning my calls, if you know what I mean.
Harpo: Yes sir.
GW: I know it's in Canadian funds and it ain't worth a lot, but, a little goes a long way when your working on world domination. So, get out the cheque book and we'll be in touch.
Harpo: Yes sir Mr. President, I mean your highness, I meant to say Mr. Dictator.
GW: Don't worry about it, just put the money in the mail and remember this.
Harpo: Yes sir.
GW: Some of my friends are your friends, but, all of my enemies are your enemies. I'll be expecting that cheque.(CLICK)
Harpo: Yes sir, and thank you again for calling, I'll get right on that sir..... Sir, hello?


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