A Little Tory Song A Little Tory Dance

"Leaves a little Tory seltzer down everybody's pants"

The Harpoville Post reports that Harpo's Tory Government has done the near impossible by bring back the dead. But, just as Canadians were about to applaud the Tories for their hind-sight correction of past Tory ill judgment they went ahead to take a shot of their own foot. The government waited to announce the $300 Million dollar pledge to help seal up Canadian homes with a $1000. Per household grant to help keep old man winter where he belongs at the Toronto Home Show and was welcomed by the struggling renovation industry who applauded the move as well as most environmentalists who were left muttering; "Though isn't this just the old Liberal package you guy's scraped exactly one year ago." Instead of swallowing a little pride Minister of Natural Resources Gary Linn who delivered the annoucement, that should have came from the Minister of Environmental Disasters, went on the offensive by denying it saying; "No this is nothing like the Liberals plan to give money to home owners to help repair a seal their homes to help them save money on their gas bills. Nothing like that at all."

The Harpoville Post has learned that the Tory plan is said to deliver $1000 to $5000 per household that will go directly to the homeowners by way the renovation trades. The plan smells a tad like the 'spray insulation craze' of the 1970's which was followed by the 'pay money to have men take out the spray insulation craze' that follow in the 1980's and all paid for by the tax payers of Canada.