Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Conservatives Get Green Under Pressure

"We plan more than just brochures this time."

The Harpoville Post reports that Canada's Conservatives have decided to roll out the green carpet later this week to announce their new green agenda. With pressure mounting to do something a year after being elected Harpo started the new year off right by kicking the Ministry of Environmental Disasters portfolio across the floor from lame duck Rona Ambose's oily claws to Harpo's own pit-bull John Baird. But, it seems John's acting somewhat apprehensive about what to do with this potentially political sinking ship.

The Harpoville Post has learned that being minister of a dead-duck can have its drawbacks and with no money to do much Baird has been 'scent' out to B.C. to wine and dine the NDP for some 'new and innovating' ideas and suggestions on what to do next with this pesty 'global warming' that just won't go away. But, since there is really very little new that can be done it may be time to bring back the old bruised and battered baby Harpo and his crew threw old with the murky Liberal bath water his government inherited just one year ago. They've decided to give the Liberal ideas a 'make-over' and see if they can't salvage some face and credibility locally because they've been laughed off the international stage one too many times. Though with breath a baited and set for new environmental announcements they won't becoming for the new Minister of Environmental Disasters John Baird. Word has it Canada will soon become a greener place with announcement from the Minister of Natural Resources.............. What? The government seems to be in denial when a report, released just last year, said that 24% of new green house gases can be traced back to Alberta's doorstep and the Ministry of Natural Resources.

The Harpoville Post speculates that Harpo has something up his sleeve other than pasty, white arms. First get a Minister with no experience to run the ministry then get all the new announcements for that new ministry announced by someone not familiar with the Ministry and keep your environmental Pit-Bull minister chained up in the back ready to unleash with the first scent of media disapproval that's sure to come down the pike. It sounds like a repeat of Harpo's first year in office.

The Harpoville Post imagines Harpos backyard. On one side of the yard is a chained John Baird on the other side a chained Charles McVety. Both with sharp teeth and studded collars. Just chomping at the bit to be released on the unsuspecting Canadian media.


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