Monday, June 05, 2006

Tom Green's Stay At Home Star Show



"Tom Green gets another chance at the not-so-big time"

The Harpoville Post
Entertainment Report


The Harpoville Post admits that the U.S. Canadian border needs some tightening up now news that Canadian Tom Green is back in LaLa Land and has landed another try at the big top. Tom, who's roller coaster career has taken him from the bottom hosting a goofy show in his hometown Ottawa, to the middle where he was once married to Drew Barrymore and back down again in, amazingly enough, in less than one whole life time. So now it seems a seemingly desperate Web hosting company has come forward and decided to put their necks out far enough for Tom to wrap his sweaty little talentless hands around and hold on tight enough that eventually paramedics will be called in to revive what little may soon be left of the ManiaTV.com Web business empire.

The Harpoville Post has learned that Tommy Boy will be hosting this Web TV talk show from his living room. There is no word what the name of the show will be since all the other failed attempts at Tom's talk shows were called The Tom Green Show, one thinks the curse still lives in that name and it's still to early to sink into that pit again. We at The Harpoville Post would like to throw Tom a bone and suggest he use our office suggestion and call it 'Stay At Home Star' since Tom will be hosting this turtle in his living room. Tom's dream was to, one day, be a stay-at-home-dad to some Hollywood starlet but, those dreams were dashed when Drew sobered up and decided she didn't want Tom's Canadian blood mixed in with the Barrymore Bourbon that pulses through that bitch's veins and quickly annulled that matrimonial train wreck.

The Harpoville Post reports Tom's show will have no budget except Tom in his living room so, don't expect too many stars strolling through Tom's Hollywood diggs, that is unless they happened to be passing by and have run out of gas. There is word Tom will take time in the 60 minute time slot to talk to his cleaning lady in a segment called; "What's That Chemical Do?", and Tom is expected to chat with his landscaper in a segment called, "When is it Safe To Set The Mower To Mulch?" Good Luck Tommy Boy.

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