Miracle Meat Meets with Success

The Harpoville Post
Science Report

The Harpoville Post reports that scientists are working on a way for home owners to grow their own meat supply. "No more will struggling familes struggle to put meat on the table." said a scientist from the Harpoville Science Group, "We're quite successful at growing mouse and frog meat and we believe growing squirrle and possum is right around the corner."

The Harpoville Post has learned that, of late, science has made great headway with virto meat culture, a process that lets you grow meat, over night, in your kitchen countertop incubator. Similar to a breadmaker, you leave the started cell in the meat maker and wake up to fresh meat.

The Harpoville Post has heard out-cries from vegitarians and ranchers alike. One concerned citizen said, "We know of Mad Cow Disease, what's next Mad Counter-Culture Disease."

The Harpoville Post has learned that the scientists are quite confident their miracle meat will meet with success, "We believe consumers will be ready and willing for this. I mean, so far, they've proven to us they'll eat anything."