HAPER "Don't Like My Ethics, Try My Integrity"

"ALL ABOARD, The Integrity Train"

"Roll-Over-The-Rim-To-Win-Game"

The Harpoville Post reports that Prime Minister Harpo's Government is moving quickly to fatten its stock in accountabilty. The Prime Minister has decided to give up on 'Ethics' and move right on to 'Integrity'.

The Harpoville Post has learned that Harpo's feeling of insecurity is reaching new heights with the introduction of an Integrity Minister when Parliment convenes next month. The New 'Integrity' Ministry will be set up to work with 'whistle blowers' and offer ca$h dollars, plus Harpo devotion bracelets, for those who will be the 'eyes and ears' of the new government.

The Harpoville Post has also learned Harpo's first pick for the new post is nun-other than Alan Culter. No stranger to whistle blowing, Alan blew the whistle long and hard and supplied the Conservative's with the information that eventually led to the Liberals slide from leadership. Alan Culter, a fidgety little man, with questionable 'ethics' himself, that Harpo and his Conservative's rewarded by unseccessfully trying to sell off on and get elected in a Ottawa-South riding. The same Ottawa-South riding Conservative Lawyer Allen Riddell was offered $50,000 from the Conservative Party not to run in this past election.

The Harpoville Post reports that with this new 10 Million Dollar Ministery they'll be a chance for all the reap the rewards of "Integrity". A 'Whistle Blowers' hotline will be set up and Ca$h bonuses paid out to informants who participate in 'Integrity'. Harpo and his new Government hope all will show their devotion and play the new Roll-Over-The-Rim-And-Win game.