Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Alistair Cooke still gets around after death

"Well, those Body Parts didn't get up and walk away by themselves"

The Harpoville Post has learned that a massive Body Parts distribution ring has been busted in the United States. The ring situated in the New York area stole and sold the body parts from dead bodies before being buried or cremated.

The Harpoville Post reports that like something out of a Edgar Allen Poe poem the dividing up and distribution of the body parts were performed at an East Coast Funeral Parlour and then shipped around the world to waiting and unsuspecting patients.

The Harpoville Post spoke to the family of Alistair Cooke, the famed host of the PBS show Masterpiece Theatre, and one of the many bodies involved, and they have some questions they'd liked answered. A family member told The Harpoville Post, "When Alistair died last year at 95 years of age we thought it quite unuasal that they listed his age as 85, but now after todays discovery I guess that answers that question." It seems the day before Mr. Cooke was cremated he was carved up and sold for $7,000. to two transplant companies. Now the familes are left wondering one more question, "If they stole and sold Alistair, then who the hell did we spread all over Central Park last year?"

The Harpoville Post has learned that the New York City Police also want to know the answer to that question since spreading human ash remains around New York City is illegal.


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