Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Wounded Afghani's Seek Immigration

Automatic Free Immigration For the Dead

The Harpoville Post reports that the family of an Afghani man killed by Canadian troops, in that country last week, are crying out for compensation.

"If you're going to send trigger happy thugs here to murder us at least promise us something if we survive" said the father of the dead man.

The Harpoville Post learned that immigration is being sought by the family of Nasrat Ali Hassan who was killed when Canadian troops opened fire on a taxi in which he was riding. Although at first, not seriously wounded, he later died. Now the family seeks restitution for his murder.

The Harpoville Post has learned that Mr. Hassan had 14 wives, 27 children, 300 step children, 4 like-mothers, 18 like-fathers and 253 like-brother and sisters that all seek compensation for his death. "We should be allowed to immigrate because we have no other options in the war torn, tribial, male dominated society." said one of his many sisters.

The Harpoville Post reports that the families bid for a sizeable compensation package is backed by Mohammed Yousef Hussaini a local politian who said, "Canada must do this and if it does not Canada is not our friend, Canada is our enemy, and your leader Harpo is a bad man, a very bad man."

The Harpoville Post was once again unsuccessful to gain access to the Harpo Government Bunker or to get a response from the P.M.. Although we did catch Canada's Lack-of-Defence Minister Gordon O'Connor as he tried to slip out the back door and into his waiting limo. We asked Mr.O'Connor, no relation to Donald, how long we will be in Afghanistan, and he said, "This will not be our Iraq, this is our Afghanistan, and we are there for three reasons. #1: National interest wants us there, not our nation the American nation. #2: Because we are part of the world, this crazy big planet we call Earth and #3: To help build an immigration policy with Afghanistan and #4: Terrorists, 9/11, 9/11, the terrorists."


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