Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Work Camps May Make Way for Death Camps

It's only a matter of time

A Harpoville Post:
Special report

The Harpoville Post has learned of Alberta's desire to install 'work camps' in the oil rich frozen wastelands of Fort McMurray Alberia has many locals up-in-arms. "We're afraid this will start a trent of camps. What'll it be next month death camps?" Said one concerned citizen.

The Harpoville Post reports that this 'boomtown' of 56,000, situated deep in the thick oil sands, is in dire need of housing for its workers. Those who leave the warm sunny climates of the south to seek their fame and fortune in the frozen north.

The Harpoville Post spoke to head camp designer, Troy Dagger who told us, "I started building camps as a kid in the scouts and I've been building camps all over the frozen north, I know what these fellows need." he added, "They come north with nothing but the clothes on their backs, a song in their hearts and a deep desire to make $2000. a day, These fellows need comfort at the end of a long day, and that's what we provide, for $1000. a week."

The Harpoville Post has learned that Troy's camps come with hot and cold running water, kitchenettes, a bar, games and weight rooms, disco, sweat house saunas, and private massage parlours. Troy added, "These babies may be a long way from home but they won't be missing their sweethearts, if you know what I mean."

The Harpoville Post asked the people of Fort McMurray what they thought of the idea of work camps, and they replied; "Sure, it all sounds good on paper but, I know what these fellows are like, and I don't think it'll be safe for women and children to be walking the hard frozen streets of Fort McMurray with one of these things around. I know the work camps today will turn into the death camps of tomorrow."

When The Harpoville Post asked Troy Dagger of the concerns of the citizens he said, "Death camps that's reticules. I haven't built a death camp in years, those baby's just aren't as popular as they used to be." He then added, "So, where are you boy's staying while you're in town?"


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