America Bends to Canada's Demands

Harpo "Softwood saga over, what else can we give them"

The Harpoville Post
Editorial:

The Harpoville Post is pleased to report that the Canada vs America Softwood saga is over and with America realizing the sheer strength of Canada's barganing power they have caved in to our demands.

The Harpoville Post reports what a master of negotiations our fierce leader Harpo, has turned out to be by beating the Americans at their own game and demanding they accept our demands. News of Harpo's victory and Americans defeat came swift and cut the Governments opposition to bits with its stinging refrain.

The Harpoville Post reports how American President G.W.Bush stook in fear as our grand leader Harpo beat his demands down onto the table. How hurt and sore they must all be after feeling such defeat.


The Harpoville Post has learned that the Americans accepted Harpo's brutal demands of keeping over 1 Billion dollars of the 5.2 Billion the United States over-charged Canada through unfair tariffs. We are so lucky our leader Harpo is so generous he allowed the Americans to keep only 20% of the original amount. Also, the Americans must allow as much as 34% of Canadian Softwood into the United States. An amount like that is monumental considering the demand for Canadian softwood is so high in America that American Builders need so much more Canadian softwood that the American government falsely inflates through price fixing and by restricting imports. But, our leader Harpo doesn't care about America's demands as he is ruler and supreme leader of Harpoville and will not allow the measly Americans anything more.

"All hail leader Harpo"

"Good thing the woods so soft and goes in so easily"