Sunday, April 30, 2006

Bush & Harper's Softwood Talks


"So, what are you wearing?"

The Harpoville Post reports that its was an early morning wake up call from G.W.Bush to P.M.Harpo last Saturday morning that opened the way for the Softwood resolve this past week.

The Harpoville Post has obtained a transcript of that conversation between these two political giants in the wee, wee hours of last Saturday morning.


G.W.: "Harpo you there? Wake up, wake up."
Harpo: "Hello Mister President, I'm afraid you've caught me still in bed."
G.W.: "O'yea, so what are you wearing?"
Harpo: "Mr. President you're awful."
G.W.: "It sounds like I caught you playing Paul Bunyan with your morning wood."
Harpo: "We'll you see, I, I, I, I, I"
G.W.: "Come on spit it out boy."
Harpo: "I still have that softwood problem."
G.W.: ".............."
Harpo: "We've been real busy around here."
G.W.: "Well speaking of softwood maybe we can clear up that lumber dispute this week. What ya say Harpo, would ya like that?
Harpo: "Very much Sir, tell me about my softwood."
G.W.: "Great, this is what I'm thinking I'm running a little short of spending cash these days, with war with Iran on the horizon and all. How much do we owe you?"
Harpo: "5.2 Billion Sir."
G.W.: "5.2 aye, how 'bout we keep 1 Billion, say for the lawyers or something, and we'll give you the rest back over time. How's fifty bucks a week sound."
Harpo: "That's sounds swell Sir. That'll make me look good in the press. What about the interest?"
G.W.: "What interest Harpo. Unless your interested in my foot up your ass."
Harpo: "No, Sir, fifty dollars a week would be just fine, thank you Sir."
G.W.: "I'll get my people to draw up the papers and get'em on up to ya, see ya Harpo."
Harpo: "Thanks for the Mr. President and Mr. President......"
G.W.: "..................."

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