Scott McClellan's Leap to Safety

"Beam me up Scotty no more"

The Harpoville Post reports that White House press secretary Scott McClellan handed in his resignation to President G.W. Bush today.

Standing amongest the teary eyed press on the South lawn, the lawn most often used as the White House employee exit, Scott held back tears as he turned to the President and said, "I've given you my all and been called a boob for it now you toss me out like yesterdays newspaper after the cats pissed all over it, I've had enough."

The President stood up to the microphone and said, "I'll miss you Scotty you were the only guy around here that could take my words and mess them around so, so, like I always said if you don't try to succeed you can get there anyway but, with a little help America's the winner here so, buddy I just want this to be said so, there's no miss-understating what I just meant."

The President turned to shake Scott's hand as the press asked Scott to please translate what the President just said. Scott stood up to the microphone and said, "The President said that we'll all miss you here in the White House Scott, that it's been a great two years having you around and I know you and America will be better off on the other side of the fence wondering just what the hell is going on in here." Scott then turned to the President and they shook hands as the President said, "I couldn't have said what he said better than than the first time I said it, thanks Scotty."