Gun Loving Voters up in Arms

"Canadian Conservatives Circle their Wagons"

The Harpoville Post reports that the new Conservative Governments gun loving voter base are up in arms over how their party seems to be dragging their ass over scrapping the gun registry law.

"He said he'd do it if we voted for him what the hell's he waiting for"

The Harpoville Post has learned to help get elected into office Harpo's Conservatives promised the gun loving rural voters that they'd do away with Canada's $60. a year gun registry law. The registry makes it easier to follow a fire arm once it is sold, lost or stolen. It seems the rural voters think too much of a bother to be responsible gun owners and they can't understand why it has taken the government so long to act in their interests.

"With gun violence on the rise in Canada gun owners are angry about gun restrictions"

The Harpoville Post spoke to the Lack-of-Safety Minister Stockwell Day who said, "It's the right for all Canadians to own guns, well, not really, and we believe the owners of these guns are our voter base and since this is what they want us to do, even though the police and statics show that registering guns is safer for all Canadian's, we have to look after our rural voters cause they're the reason we're in power, well not really in power, because we have a minority government which means we really can't do anything like scrap a law without causing such a reversal of fortunes that it would mean the end of this here Conservative Government."

"Guns don't kill people, people with guns kill people."

The Harpoville Post has learned that since the law has been in place over 1300 licenses have been refused to guns owners in Canada. Due to background checks 653 new applications have been refused due to public safety, 634 have been revolked by dangerous individuals who would now be in possion of firearms had this law not been on the books and if the Conservatives get their way these people, which I'm sure all voted for Stephen Harper and the Conservatives in the last election, will own guns.

The Harpoville Post has learned that recently 1200 guns were turned into police in Hamilton Ontario. The guns were distroyed by police an item missed or ignored by Canada's major news sources. This news has saddened David Thomlinson, who is head of Canada's, Edmonton based National Firearms Association, Canada's answer to America's NRA and author of the poorly sold book No Gun Left Behind. Mr. Thomlinson has tried to calm the angry gun touting Conservatives who are so anxious to kill the registry law he feels, if they don't get their way, they may turn their sights on a much easier political target.

"Here's Hoping"