U.S. Military Memory Sticks Stolen

"Be on the lookout for smiling Afghani workers"

The Harpoville Post reports that computer memory sticks filled with top secret military information are being sold in market stalls outside U.S. Military bases in Afghanistan.

Though the military are cracking down on the merchants that are selling the top secret computer information, for as little as $50, they admit they can't keep up. The information on the memory sticks range from the names and address of informants working for the Americans, by spying on the Taiban, to the Social Security numbers of four American Generals.

"You have no idea where those things have been"

The Harpoville Post has learned that over 2000 Afghanis work as office cleaners, office staff and labors on the American base. Since the computer memory sticks are about the size of a finger they are easy to hide. The military guards have been instructed to keep an eye out for Afghani workers leaving the base with a strange grin on their face.