Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Crazed Kitty is Calculating Killer

"It's certain to be curtains for this cute Connecticut kitten"

The Harpoville Post reports that the mean streets of Bridgeport Connecticut won't seem so mean now Lewis the Cat is safely behind bars and the good folk there can thank the long claws of the law for that. It seems this visious feline has been out on the prowl for neighbour, attacking at least a half a dozen including an Avon lady, which most people know is not an easy kill.

The Harpoville Post has learned that Lewis has a mean streak a mile wide when it comes to humans and most of his neighbours want him locked up for good. The Harpoville Post spoke to Lewis's owner, one Ruth Cisero who said, "Lewis is an adorable little kitty and a lovable member of our family. Sure he may get a little bit rough when he plays but, what kitty hasn't been accused of that."

The Harpoville Post spoke also to head of dangerous animal control for the Bridgeport area, Carl Cuddles, also know as 'Dog' and he told us, "You see it's my job, my lot in life, as it were, to hunt down these menizens of these mean streets that, sure they may have been led astray by getting hooked on too much k-nip or maybe they were weaned a little too early but, that's for the shrinks to decide, me I'm just doing my job."

The Harpoville Post reports there is no word what will happen to Lewis, if he is found guilty but, the good people of Bridgeport will breath a little easier knowing this vacuous, vicious predator, this calculating carnivious craving killkenny cat, this frisky little flesh eating Felis, won't be out on the loose preying on them any longer.


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