Tuesday, January 31, 2006


What a Long Month it's Been

The Harpoville Post wishes to celebrate the illustrious first months end for our leader Harpo. But, what a labor-ish first month in office it has been. And athough, he only spent eight days as ruler, none of them in office and one of those days was in Harpoville Hospital, Harpo wished to thank the good people of Harpoville for they're love, devotion and support through these, short, but trying times.

The Harpoville Post exclusive month end report details all the exciting happenings and events that have taken place since our new leader Harpo has taken his place as the new ruler of Harpoville.

Election Day and an easy win for our new leader Harpo and his competent Reform Conservatives, as they crashed through the gates of corruption held by the defeated Paul Martin and his lackluster Liberals.

Our newly elected leader Harpo took this day to pray and reflect on his monsterous election win, though, it has been reported in the 3L-press, that Harpo was elected with the smallist number of votes every recorded for a prime minister since Canadian confederation, this news will not dampen the excitment since the will of the people, needless how small and rural they may be, has spoken.

Still no Harpo, but, Conservative critic Vic Teows came out swinging when he told the The Harpoville Post that soon the Harpoville/Canadian Borders will be filled with armed guards. But, not to keep out drugs, dangerous immigrants, or illegal weapons(cause, where do you think the guns come from?), but, to stop the massive exodus of Canadian's who feel trapped in the new utopian world of Harpoville.
As are leader Harpo reminds us; "resistance is futile".

The Harpoville Post was pleased to report and publish our new leader Harpo's conversation with the King of America G.W. Bush.
G.W. sent his warm congratulations on a joyous win, over the defeated social, maxists democrats on election day. King Bush also reminded Harpo that is dues for World Domination Inc. were now due.

The Harpoville Post reported on Harpo's misunderstood comments made to the US Ambassador on who really owns The North West Passage have finally been put to rest on news The North West Passage has been sold to the Tim Hortons donut and coffee franchise for an undisclosed amount. It is reported that Tim Hortons is planning to build the largest drive thru in Canadian coffee history.

The Harpoville Post report of US Submarines in Lake Muskoka may have brought tears and fears from weak kneed Liberals types, but, it only warmed the hearts of the true and faithful patrons of Harpoville, who know US Submarines in our resort areas, only make it that much safer to vacation in.

The Harpoville Post reported that finally Harpo's long awaited doctrine for new order in Harpoville, and soon to be classic "2006" has arrived. Sales of the book are taking meteoric leaps off the shelves in distribution Sector C. And it is recommended that all patrons of Harpoville pick up a copy soon.

The Harpoville Post relieved the hearts of the true when they reported on Harpo's reasons for not talking ethics 'to a Liberal'. Harpo's six month comments critic Karl Hush spoke for Harpo when he said; "talking doesn't bring results only doing does."

The Harpoville Post reminds us all that during times of war, 'loose lips sink ships'.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant, it's hard to imagine life being any other way.
Sign me up.
Phil McCraken

12:36 PM  

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