Cocaine Blizzard Coats New York City

"It's like 1978 all over again, baby."

The Harpoville Post reports that a foot of Cocaine fell on the streets of New York City this past weekend. Making traffic in the city of over ten million, grind its teeth to a halt, and walking very, very quickly the only mode of transportation. New York reported that talking and sleeping were the tasks most affected by the blizzard with reports of New Yorkers staying up for days, calling everyone on the planet and not shutting up.

The Harpoville Post spoke to one man seen whirling and whirling down Fifth Avenue, and asked, what effect this blizzard had on him? his reply, "Just look at me I'm alive, I'm alive, it's like 1978 all over again baby, except we still have Aids."

The freak Cocaine blizzard is a result of the seldom seen freakish North Easterly winds that blow up from Columbia also known as the Nose Hairs, for the way they devastate everything in their path with a white sticky substance.

With New York City road crews unable to handle the nightmarish task of cleaning up the Cocaine, Drug Cartels from around the world were called in the help package the white powdery substance and get it back to the streets of other major American cities before it is missed.