Wednesday, February 01, 2006

HORTONS Buys North West Passage


The Harpoville Post learned that, last weeks misunderstanding with the United States on who owns the rights to the North West Passage, was cleared up today, when it was anounced that our leader Harpo has found a new owner.
Tim Hortons, the donut and coffee chain has purchased the North West Passage for an undisclosed amount. Ron Joyce, Tim Hortons owner and sole surveyor of the doughy hot liquid empire said; "We'd been looking at expanding into the North for quite sometime but, we were not sure how. Now with the purchase of The North West Passage and my plan to make it the longest drive thru in the world, things are starting to take shape." Mr. Joyce wouldn't comment when asked if he'd planned on changing the name of the passage.
"We're starting to kick around some name changes, The Tim Bit Passage has been suggested, so has the Honey Dipped Straight, but, I think it's just too soon to say. Personally, I'm just suprised we got it so cheap." Asked again on the amount, Mr. Joyce had no comment, but, he did suggest that if Wendy's or McDonald's had there eye on any property, in or around Harpoville, now's the time to act. "I guess Harpo's got some big debits to repay now he's ruler, and he needs to pay them fast."
Asked if he anticipated any problems with the United States using the 'yet unnamed passage", Mr. Joyce said; "As long as they order and wait in line like everyone else, I don't think there'll be a problem."

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