Saturday, February 25, 2006


Wanted: A few good Terrorists

The Harpoville Post reports of Canada's plan to allow third world terrorists a chance to prove themselves in Canada's new military.

The Harpoville Post has just learned that Canadian Citizenship will be granted to anyone who signs up for Canada's 'New War' effort.

Offensive Staph-General Rick Hillier told The Harpoville Post, "We've swept the reform schools, the police holding cells, and the Mall security cameras looking for a few (23,000) good men, and we've come up empty. We'll take anyone at this point."

General Rick, as he is affectionately called by his troops, has sweetened the deal by adding a weeks holidays and a case of blue to those who sign up.

The Harpoville Post asked 'General Rick' if they had searched Canada's prisons for soldiers, he replied; "The Canadian prisons are full of thieves, murders and pot heads we don't want them. But, we haven't ruled out searching through foreign prisons yet."

When General Rick was asked why there is a problem with army recruiting, he said; "I just don't know why kids today aren't drawn into playing with guns, camping out in unbearable conditions and living in fear that they may die that day. It all sounds quite exciting really, but, I guess if they want the "Terrorists" to move to Canada, join the army, buy a house next door to their parents, and get a good job working at Walmart or Tim Horton's, well, if their OK with that I'm OK with that."

The Harpoville Post reports that with Harpo's new mility aggression policy taking shape all that is needed now is men, guns, tanks, ships, armour, ammo, planes, helicopters, etc, etc, etc, etc o'yea and ca$h.


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