Long Hot Canadian Summer Predicted

Rona Ambrose "Why should I do anything just get me out of this fucking heat"

The Harpoville Post reports that Environment Canada is predicting a record hot summer for most of N. America in 2006 and the 'Made in Canada' solution is to keep low, stay in the shade, don't complain, don't expect the Troy Government to do anything about it and watch for your bus pass in the mail.

The Harpoville Post has learned that while the planet heats up Environmental Disaster Minister Rona Ambrose is blaming her inability to do anything on the previous Liberal government. "Message to Tories" this is what you wanted, your chance to shine in the sun the sun we may soon be all got dead in. Rona Ambrose has decided that 35% increase of greenhouse gases isn't her fault and people should stop looking at her for solutions.

The Harpoville Post reports that the biggest polluters are cars, coal fired energy plants, factories and the Alberta Oil Sands. But, since oil money got the Harpo Government into power they're not about to suggest we find an alternative to turn off Alberta's cash cow and help turn the heat down.

The Harpoville Post spoke the Unnatural Resources Minister Gary Lunn and he said, "It's unrealistic for Canada/Alberta to stop producing greenhouse gases in their quest for more and more money made from the oil sands that produce oil into gas that they sell in inflated prices to Canadians to put into cars to drive on the roads to slow choke the life out of every tax paying Canadian. Can you just imagine if Canadians couldn't drive these long commutes from the suburbs into the city to work at jobs that pay Canada's huge tax load that keep incompetents like Rona Ambrose and myself employed and living well beyond our means. I don't think so."