Heads Will Roll For Canada Day Rest Stop

"Give er' man, wow Canada Day, giver er' Yea Hoo!"

The Harpoville Post reports that 23 year old Stephen Fernandes, no relation the Stephen Harper, came forward to turn himself in and plead Canada Day stupidity as his defence to accusations of him 'hanging loose' in Ottawa last weekend. Stephen swears he was swept up in the magic of what was Canada's 139th birthday celebrations.

The Harpoville Post spoke to the apologetic young Canadian as he looks back on that day festivities. "Wow man, I was sooooo wasted that day, I really don't remember much. I had traveled to Ottawa with the church chior to sing the national anthem for the special needs kids. It's something my church group does every year, it's really nothing special but, if we can just bring a little happiness and a smile to one retards face I guess it's all worth it. Well, like I said I don't remember much but, it was a long, hot bus ride down to Ottawa that day and the kids were passing around some apple juice that we had found in the church rectory. I guess the apple juice was old and fermented cause things got pretty hazy fast. I understand things got out of hand after O'Canada, I guess I just got swept up in all the love, I just don't know what happened next. My friends say I just got right out of hand I heard I was coming on to a statue and that I was seen trying to do a cannon and that picture of me urinating on the momument just doesn't make sense I mean man I was just looking for somewhere to take a shit."

The Harpoville Post reports there is no word what will happen to poor Stephen who was just caught in the merryment of his love of our great country and a shortage of sufficient rest room facilities on that day of all days Canada Day.