Canada's Top Car Tunes Breakdown

1) Summer of 69: Brian Adams 1980's hit which was not about Brian's life but, the life of his songwriting partner, Brian was about 8 years old in 1969, is the favorite of Albertian drivers born after 1975, they have 2.2 kids, 2.2 cars, 2.2 morgages, 2.2 wifes, 2.2 TV's, computers and cell phones and masturbate 2.2 times a day and dream of retirment in the summer 2069.

2)Bohemian Rhaosody: This early 70's operatic trainwreck has more bridges than New York City and stops and starts than Liz Taylor's heart, is the favorite of the still cozy in the closet gay men who earn well over $100,000 a year drive a 10 year old North American car, wear old suits and sensible shoes and their wives have no idea why.

3) Born to be Wild: The epic late 60's motorcycle song that was made famous in the film Easy Rider, was most favored by overweight, married, middle aged men who dye what little hair they have left, still fantasize about doing their grade four teacher who would be about 80 years old now and deeply dependant on depends and they still buy Hot-Rod Car magazine and dream about that special car that they will never be able to afford.

4) It's Only Rock and Roll: This 1960's Rolling Stones chestnut which will one day be credited for paying for a Heart and Lung transplant for guitarist Keith Richards is the favorite song of middle aged rocker moms who race from one dollar store to the next dollar store while touching up their eye liner and admiring their home dye job in the rear view mirror of their 15 year old North American Mini Van which is still not paid for.

5) Drive My Car: This 1960's Beatles ode to being rich, which may one day be credited to buying Heather Mills a new prosthetic is a favorite of D.I.N.K.S. (double income no kids) who have $400,000 dollar homes in the suburbs, have their kitchens redone every six months, are border line alcoholic, as can be attested by their weekly curb side blue box donations, they have enough RRSP's to finance a small Caribbian country but, still don't have enough to guaranteeing their asses will be wiped throughout eternity, they can't remember the last time they had sex with their spouse and their cars always arrive by boat.

6) Free Falling: Tom Petty's 1980's, the only other song to breech the 80's is a favorite of aging, pot smoking weekend rockers who hate corperations but, work for one, hate the suburbs but, live in them, sing this song at the top of their lungs until stuck at a light, hate they're ex-wife but, live with somebody elses and they lease.

7) Radar Love: Golden Earings 1970's ode to 'not getting any', because they're always talking about it, is most favored by both senior and middle management commuters who all married their bosses sisters or daughters who will most likely die heading for or moving away from the dinner table and they own very expensive vintage automobiles that is either in the shop, in need of going to the shop or broken down somewhere along the road playing this song.