Homophobic Harper Heads for the Hinter Land

"Harper makes himself scarce when AIDS Converence rolls into town"

The Harpoville Post reports that the 2006 World AIDS Converence opened its week long meeting in Toronto without, for the first time in history, the politicial representive of that hosting country showing up. The Prime Minister's handlers thought it would be a good time to get the obvious 'gay' frightened Harpo out of town, 'somewhere nice, safe and far away' they thought, "I know someone suggested, how about the North Pole". So, it seems they bundled up the P.M. for that long, long flight north of everything inhabitable and only two hundred miles from the north pole, Alert.

The Harpoville Post has learned that the Prime Minister started, the unanounced northern visit, on Saturday the day before the AIDS Conference was to start, by jetting into Nunavut. There among a few Iqaluit, who were only at the airport to fly to Toronto for the AIDS Conference, Harpo pressed the flesh and promised more guns to protect the north from Terrorists and Muslims. The Premier of Nunavut, Paul Okalik replied to Harpo that the north didn't need guns to protect themselves from the Muslim terrorists because most of the Muslims were in the greater Toronto area and that maybe that's where he should go. At that point Harpo's advisers told Mr. Okalik that Toronto was full of 'gay' people and aids sympathizers and it wasn't safe to go there. They then boarded the plane and flew further north to Alert there they were welcomed by psychotic military personal, wolves and carnivorous rabbits. "No gays here," Harpo's handlers were overheard saying.

The Harpoville Post reports that Prime Minister Harpo plans to spend the rest of this week far away from civilization and prying reporters in Yellowknife and Whitehorse, though the Prime Minister flys home to Ottawa every evening to sleep in his own bed a mere one hour flight from Toronto.