Tories Announces 13 Billion Dollar Surplus

"Just don't expect them to spend any of it"

The Harpoville Post reports Harpo and his Conservatives are finding themselves so flush with leftover Liberal loot they've decided to cut 2 Billion in Federal spending. Lack of Finance Minister Paul Flaherty was quick to downplay any spectulation that much, if any, of the $13.2 Billion windfall will make it's way back to Canadian street from which it came. Mr. Flaherty who was head of finances for the failed Government of Mike Harris when they left Ontario staggering with a massive debt load back in the 90's had this to say to The Harpoville Post: "We're not like those last guy's, who were able to balance the books and still come out on top, were Conservatives. Look in your history books the Tory's always leave office with an empty kitty. It'll be no different this time."

The Harpoville Post has learned the Harpo's desire to implement spending cuts to make way for worthy voters has raised it's share of eye brows even in Western Canada. By targeting women's groups and illiteracy programs, in their spending cuts, the government is showing just who doesn't matter on their march from minority to majority. As one Albertian expressed to The Harpoville Post; "These people, if I go so far as to call them that, they're more like 'sheepeople', neither read nor vote Conservative, so who cares what they think or want."