Mark Foley Releases Multiple Choice Excuses

"I was touched by the drunken left hand of God"

The Harpoville Post reports Republican Florida Congressman Mark Foley has released a multiply choice excuse press release to explain why he sent 'hot gay' emails to a 16 year old male page. Stopping just short of saying 'God may me gay' Foley, through his team of over priced lawyers, swears the reason he desires 'hot young male teen flesh' his that he was once 'hot young male teen flesh' himself and some sick old middle aged Christian sicko had his way with him and he always felt it was his duty to pass on the torch of the touch.

The Harpoville Post has learned that Foley's over priced team of excuse men have left no stone unturned as they work they're magic on a bid to find a silver lining in Foley's political career and the GOP's desire to hold onto the house as they both show signs of soon being thrown out with the baby's bath water. With excuses like a) abused as a teen b) touched by the cloth and c) the demon drink. Foley feels the need to explan away his actions after months of everybody in the GOP knowing of Foley's hot emails with the 16 year old male page. With cries from deep within the "family values" side of the party to rid itself of these demons before they return to the gay old 90's when the only gay Republican anyone in party spoke of was Rush Limbaugh.