Sir Paul Beat Heather With Her Own Prostatic

"He made me dance around the room on one leg while he was high crazed on pot."

The Harpoville Post reports that Heather McCartney's lawyers have released a mountain of alligations againist ex-Beatle Sir Paul McCartney and his massive fortune. As the divorice heats up Heather sets her sights on the biggest payday in all the history of divorce settlements. With an estimated fortune of one and a half Billion dollars and no pre-nup insight Sir Paul stands to be the next big reason to say no to smoking dope.

The Harpoville Post has learned although British tabloids are forbidden by law to release divorice alligations, until they're proven to be true, and though no ones owning up to how these pre-court documents were released but since they're all alliged to be againist Sir Paul any stoner could easily stumble to the door of Heather and her lawyers. Which has even the press scratching their heads because one of the reasons given by Heather for the breakup of the couple is; 'the constant intrusion of the press into our private lives.' Though it all shouldn't come as such a big suprise because a close friend of Heather's, revealed recently that 'big breaking news' was on the way.

The Harpoville Post reports that Heather's alligitions led down only one road that Sir Paul is a drunken, vendictive, pot smoking loat who deserves a good shagging of the pocket book. In Heather's claim to $750 Million dollars she swears Paul, broke a wine glass into her arm, refused her a bed pan so she didn't have to hop to the john in the middle of the night and tried to stop Heather from breast feeding their baby by pushing the child away and screaming "no, I'm the one in need of calcum."