Friday, February 03, 2006

Is CANADA Boring?

Canadians consume coffee by candlelight.

The Harpoville Post has learned that Canadian tourist specialists say; "Canada is boring."
It seems, in a recent poll, Americans, when asked; would you rather go somewhere more exciting than Canada for your vacation? Most replied "Yes"
The C.T.C., not to be confused with the C.B.C, or the, C.N.C., C.R.T.C., or the C.C.C.C., said 4.6 percent less Americans drove to Canada last year. When asked why, a representive of the C.T.C. said; "I don't know". When asked if it could have anything to do with the recent sky rocketing gasoline prices, in Canada and The United States? He replied; "I don't know, we never thought of that....... Do you think?"

When asked what Americans look for in a country while on vacation, he replied, "Cheap booze, cheap smokes, and cheap woman. And Canada has only one of those."
Rick Ceiling, president of the Greater Canadian Hotel And Assol's., said, "It's like watching paint dry around here. Americans look at Canada and see three things, Mangie-cake, Mutton, and Mounties. It seems, like many Canadians, Americans would rather go to some third world country for their vacation, than hang around here."

Our beloved Harpo has taken to the task to tease tourists to Toronto, Harpoville and Canada. He has suggested that last years Boxing Day Massacre, held on one of the busiest streets in Toronto, on one of the busiest shopping days of the year was quite popular. "We could be like Disneyland. " He said, "and hold a reenactment of it everyday at noon. We all know Americans love guns." He added, 'If Americans want to vacation in a third world country, we can be that third world country they're looking for, just give me time."

But, does our beloved leaders pleas fall on deaf ears? Is there another reason, why, Canada is so boring? Is there a reason why Canada has more coffee shops per-capita than any other country in the world? Is there another reason why Canadians are so often seen walking the streets, the malls even the coffee shops with coffees in their hands? Is it that Canada is so boring that it's near impossible to stay awake in without drinking copious amounts of coffee.

How to tickle the tourist trade is another tough job our top leader Harbo will have to content with in the coming months, maybe, even over coffee.


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