Eminem's wife gets half Again

"The artist now known as Em."

The Harpoville Post
Entertainment Report

The Harpoville Post reports that rapper Eminem and his wife have decide to call it quits for a second time. Just three months after the couple were married for the second time, which was a month and a half longer then they were married the first time, the couple are fileing for divorce.

The Harpoville Post interviewed Mrs. Eminem who said to us, "It is sad Marshall and I can't seem to put the past behind us but, we, my lawyer and I, have decided that I will take half and maybe we'll be back to try it again some other time."

The Harpoville Post spoke to Mrs. Eminem's lawyer, Mr. L.O. Liffe', who told us, "It is so unfortunate when young people these days fall from their path and need expert guidence on which way to turn." We asked Mr. Liffe' which way Mrs. Eminum would likely be turning at this point, and he said, "Towards the bank because it is the foundation of our capitalist society. and honestly the only foundation we can trust. Also, we are in negotaions at this time, so it is too early to say, but, Mrs. Eminem has no interest in changing her name for a fourth time, So, we've drawn up papers for the name to be split right down the middle. No long will the rapper be known as Eminem from now on he will be known as Em and his wife as Mrs. em and their daughter will have her name changed to In. we believe it is the best way to start dividing up the assests."