Paul And Heather McCartney Call it Quits

The Harpoville Post
Entertainment Wednesday

"It seems that trip to the ice flow left a chill in their marrage"

The Harpoville Post reports that Paul McCartney and wife of four years Heather Mills are throwing in the matrimonial towel and going their separate ways, he to his, soon to be her, farm in East Sessex, she shopping. It seems Paul's massive near 2 Billion dollar fortune will soon come under the knife much like Heather did back in 1993 when she lost her leg in a motorcycle accident, ouch!

The Harpoville Post has learned that the couples 25 year difference in age was not a factor in their separation when it is reported that Paul can still nail girls half her age while out on tour. Sir Paul, as he's likened to be called in bed, said that any rumors that his children had anything to do with the couple calling it ka-put are untrue. Paul met Heather through his oldest daughter Stella, which, had to have, made comments like, "Gee Paul, your wife's old enough to be your daughter", that much harder to endure. At last report Paul was heading to his farm to smoke a ton-o-dope and write some silly-little-love song and Heather was going shopping.