USA Decides Who's The Better Jack-Ass

"Nature verses nurture in ass off"

The Harpoville Post reports that Idaho Gem and Star, two cloned mules will go toe to toe and tail to tail with natural born mules to see who's the better jack-ass. The competition, which will be held in Califorina next month, is hoping to give a much needed boost to one of America's lesser know sports, Mule Racing. Every year jack-ass's from across America come to watch this mules run in State and County Fairs for as much as $5000. a race.

The Harpoville Post has learned that the head of the cloning experments is scientist Gordon Woods who would not offer any information to help 'edge the bets' on which of the mules will run the fastest. The Harpoville Post spoke to Mr. Woods who said, "You see, a mule is created when a male donkey ejaculates into a female horse or mare. It is thought that the mare doesn't like it much and considers it like having sex with your weird distant cousin. The mule that is born to this pairing ends up, thank-god, infertile and that's where I come in." He then added, "But as far as betting on which one will be fastest in a race I can't really say, you see I'm Mormen, I might like a lot of wives but I can't bet on which one will make me dinner first. But, I can tell you this that with mules the males are preffered primarily for hauling and the females are primarily for riding. "