Dudestitute Coming to a Brothel Near You

Its "One Small Step For (a) Man and One Giant Leap for Dudestitute-kind."

The Harpoville Post reports that although male prostitution has been around for as long as, as long as..... Well, most likely it was invented twenty minutes after female prostitution was invented. Which has been called the worlds second oldest profession. What was the first? .... Who knows, but we are pretty sure prostitution was invented shortly after the first pay cheque was cut.

The Harpoville Post has found The Shady Lady Raunch brothel, located in Beatty Nevada, has hired their first male prostitute by the name of Markus..... No last names please. I'm sure his parents are embarrassed enough. The Harpoville Post has learned that Markus has been hired on for the 'ladies pleasure'. Which is annoying to the fine ladies of The Shady Lady who feel if Markus is really committed to the worlds second oldest profession he should bone up to the plate and commit to having sex with men as well as women. That is if any show up.
As one of the Shady Lady's finest old pros told The Harpoville Post; "This dump has got enough fat, old, toothless bastards coming around here looking to stick themselves into any old keyhole. If this little prick wants to help out around here he can pick up the slack by bending over and lending us a hand. ..... Sorta speak."

5-YEARS AGO TODAY

The Harpoville Post has sprung open it's doors and sharpened up its pens to help celebrate this the marking the Golden Jubilee, less 45-years, celebration in our beloved leader Harpo's rule. Surely the good people of Harpoville will be busy hanging banners and baking pies, Harpo's favorite, and dancing in the streets till the wee hours of the evening. Since seven pm is curfew and any Harpoville citizens caught on the streets past the hour of seven will be severely scolded, written up and immediately put to death.
Our beloved Harpo has seen fit to joyously celebrate this occasion by eliminating work for himself and his dooly elected MP's for the next two months. Citizens of Harpoville will fortunately be expected to work they're required 14+ hours and then be present and pleasant on the parade route as it winds itself thru the streets of harmonious Harpoville later today.

Long live King Harpo!